I'm Afraid

I'm so busy lately. Gosh, it's very tiring me. Well for this entry I would like to commit something about my feelings. Especially my crush feeling. Actually, I have crush over someone since I met him during National Service Camp early of this year. What can I say, I was bloated with my feeling since the first time I saw him. But, I try to build a friendship with him just for for friend so I can talk to him. I know sometimes I was like desperate to get him, but no I can't. I should never drag the innocent to be with me. I should carry my sins on my own. Day by day, I managed to talk with him even for once for the whole day. He is so nice and totally friendly guy. I still remember when he teach me a guitar song by Najwa titled Sahabat. That is the best moment ever when he literally teach me. But, I don't know why should I have crush over him? Should I stay for friendship with him? I just can't bear it. I do called him "gold-fish". He laughed whenever I call him using that name. For me, I was actually feel so thankful towards God by putting him a part of my life. Met him was the best thing ever for this open veil of 2013. But accidentally, I posted something in Twitter. You know what, "I have a crush feeling over gold-fish long time ago". I didn't know that he noticed that tweet and make it favorite along with retweet. When I saw it on my notification bar, I was so speechless. How can I overcome this situation it's very surprising me. I start to think maybe he will never wanna talk with me anymore, maybe he doesn't want to make friend with me, maybe he also ignore me. What a nightmare. Time is slipping by, I'm getting sick of my stupid feeling towards him. I hope that I can get rid this. I know I should never commit for sins if troubles looking me instantly. I feel torn inside for now. I always hope that people can accept me the way I behave. I  hate to act like I was a good nor innocent boy, while the real me I'm just very hyper-person I love to make people around me happy but actually my stupid feeling always come in a time wherever I think is not the perfect time. So, what should I do know? Text him? Tell him? Leave him? It remains question on my mind